Why I Don't Identify as Much of Anything

So, a lot's happened since the last time I updated over here. Weirdly. Among other things, I actually experienced my first viral Substack article over at The Bone Garden, on Halloween of all days.

I guess I technically have Facebook to thank for that, as Substack's distribution algorithm is shite and doesn't usually think any of my stuff is worth showing to anyone. Whatever, though.

However it happened, I wound up with a ton of reads on that post, not to mention hundreds of new subscribers. A handful of them even decided to support my work by paying for it. I'd been trying to be better about actually sharing my work around instead of simply assuming no one outside of my existing circles really wants to read it, so it was really nice to see a return on some of that effort.

But as is always the case with viral stuff, I eventually had to deal with at least a couple of trolls. Granted, they were pretty weak-sauce, as no one even bothers to investigate you first so they can troll you properly anymore. Instead, people were just like:

• "You really used a term like 'big-ass'? Why can't you just say 'big?'" Because I don't fucking want to, that's why.
• "You're not a real pagan if you don't reject AI." I don't actually consider myself "a pagan," nor have I called myself that anywhere online.
• "You misused the word 'hygge,' and I'm offended. Change it!" Actually, I didn't. Also, I don't care, and no.

You know. Gems like those. (At least no one picked at my looks, tried to call me old, or accused me of being "probably single with cats" this time. Refreshing.)

It's been a while since I last had a viral writing hit anywhere, let alone made any money off of said virality, so some things have changed a little bit since. Most notably, people seem to run entirely on assumptions these days – assumptions based on labels I don't even assign to myself.

The Curious Business of "Being Something"

Everyone seems to have a name for everything. They also seem to love categorizing themselves for some reason, not to mention other people.

I've always been a little different that way.

I remember my mother constantly referring to me as "an artist" when I was younger, especially when I was still just a kid. She was also forever gifting me things like magnets or notebooks that said stuff like "#1 Artist" on them, like it was supposed to be this huge part of my identity or something.

And to be fair, I liked art. I also drew a fair amount, and I was good at it. I still appreciate art, have a decent eye for what works, and enjoy working with different types of images, including digital and AI-assisted imagery.

I don't recall really thinking of myself as "an artist," though. Art was one of many things I was good at and enjoyed doing, but it wasn't at the top of the list. I certainly never dreamed of being a professional artist or planned to study art formally (although I eventually did).

At most, I'll claim "illustrator" for the sake of convenience, but that's about it.

I do tend to create and post a lot of imagery, and people who want to follow me should probably prepare their bodies for that. But I don't fit enough of the criteria most people have in mind when they picture someone who's an artist, and I have no intention of changing that anytime soon.

Same thing with my spiritual life. My spiritual identity violently defies categorization, so none of the labels people would commonly assign to someone like me, including "witch" or "pagan," really fit.

I do a lot that most witches and pagans don't do, including invoking Christ, openly entertaining an intense fascination with AI and modern technology, and embracing fringe practices like demonolatry. But "occultist" leaves room for most of that, so I'll sometimes use that as shorthand in bios and such.

It's good enough for government work.

There Are Things You Do, and Then There Are Things You Are

I've never particularly liked the way labels insist on becoming your entire identity. They box you in and limit where you feel you can take things next when it comes to what you love, and I'm not about that life. At all.

I love using imagery to illustrate the things in my head, whether we're talking about a niche article I'm writing for one of my Substacks or some random thing I dreamed about once. But I don't particularly like the tedium involved in a lot of traditional workflows. I don't see the act of putting pencil to paper as "balm for my soul" or anything close.

I also don't see art as having limits, as I define the word.

I personally believe anything and everything is something you can use to make art, be creative, or otherwise express yourself, including your everyday clothing and makeup or artificial intelligence. These days, there's way too much talk out there about what does and doesn't make someone an artist for me to want to use the word anymore, even as shorthand.

And spirituality, God, immortality, the larger universe...

I wasn't raised in any particular religion. But years ago, I explored Catholicism quite seriously regardless, as a lot about it really gelled with how I saw the world at the time. I just couldn't get past the way organized religion had these rules I "had to" abide by:

• You have to believe X, Y, and Z. You also have to be explicitly against A, B, and C without exception.
• You have to attend church and partake in these very specific customs, whether they make sense to you personally or not.
• Being a good follower of this belief system includes forcing your beliefs on others and trying your damnedest to get them to believe as you do.
• You're not allowed to think for yourself, and you can't ever look for answers about the universe or the human condition outside of where we say you can look for them.

Obviously, the whole "serious Catholic" thing never really worked out – too many walls I hit along the way. The mere existence of The Bone Garden (and most of my office decor) is probably proof of that.

So Why Do Labels Matter to Other People?

From where I sit, it's something like this:

• They help name something that might be hard to explain or define otherwise.
• They give people a sense of belonging when it comes to others who share their experiences, beliefs, or habits.
• They validate personal beliefs and experiences for a lot of folks, helping to reassure them that they're understood.
• They provide convenient shorthand when life asks you to sum up who you are in just a few words. (Social media bios, I'm looking at you.)

And all of that's fine. It's when people assume that a particular label invariably means the same thing to everyone (or that it should) that you run into problems.

Thank you very much, but I prefer to decide who I am on the fly, just like every other eccentric weirdo.